chemo-core fashion edit
thoughts on getting dressed as a healing mechanism
I didn’t always realize it, but fashion helped me survive the endless parade of appointments, procedures, and hospital visits over the past few years. Infusions, egg retrievals, scans, surgeries, sonograms—each one chipped away at a sense of normalcy. And somehow, getting dressed became a way to take some of it back.
Maybe it was the need to feel something—anything—or maybe it was my quiet rebellion against the sea of Lululemon-clad women in every waiting room. (Honestly, what exactly are they training for at their sonogram appointment? A 5K?)
After one of my miscarriages—the really bad one—I read Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst. One line has lived in my head ever since: the idea that maybe I have been set apart, not set aside by God. (I’m not going to talk about God anymore in this post, promise)
That concept has grounded me more than I expected. It’s been a quiet companion through all of it: the fertility treatments, the losses, the diagnoses, the drip-drip-drip of chemo. And it’s shaped the way I’ve shown up for myself, especially in how I dress.
Because while I couldn't always control what was happening inside my body, I could decide how I walked into that room. And sometimes, that tiny act of self-expression—of defiance, even—made all the difference.
So, without further ado, here’s my Chemo-core Fashion Edit: a chronicle of outfits* that reminded me I was still me, even when everything else felt out of my hands.
*some of these photos are from my finsta, you’re welcome for this rare peek DEEP into my brain.
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Look 1: Disco & Disbelief
I had no idea what I was doing. I sat across from two older ladies who talked about me—loudly enough that I could hear every word. One even asked our shared nurse, “What’s she doing here?” :) :) :)
✨ Fit details:
– Disco Top, Maverick Pant, and Gold Chunky Chain Belt – all by LiNNY
– Thrifted cardigan ( here is a similar one—just add your own fur collar!)
– Kate Spade flats (usually on Depop for a fortune if you can find them)
– Gucci tote (here is a similar one)
– Juicy Couture charm bracelet from high school, repurposed as a bag charm because why not?
Look 2: Ovarian Bloat & Iced Coffee
Peak hormonal chaos from my egg retrieval prep. I felt like a human water balloon but looked like a certified snack. Note the iced coffee in my tiny reusable Casa Mañana cup. Sustainable queen even when things are hard. Clap for me.
✨ Fit details:
– Cargo joggers from UNIQLO (old; these are similar)
– Aritzia wilfred tank (this one is similar)
– Thrifted adidas sweatshirt
– W Hotels cap (also thrifted—hotel merch supremacy)
– lululemon belt bag
– “Esperanza” frames by Warby Parker
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Look 3: Comfort, But Make It Controversial
By Day 4 of Week 1 of chemo, I had course-corrected for comfort. Wore my Canada hat to annoy the TikTok hockey bros who think I’m not patriotic enough. LOL.
✨ Fit details:
– AGOLDE Mara jeans (rented at the time; here is a similar pair that is budget friendly)
– Thrifted shearling booties (grossed out quickly and got tossed—sorry, Target)
– Now I stick with my Quince leather mule or similar
– Thrifted sweater by Modern Citizen (similar here )
– Chocolate brown suede coat, vintage from Finland
– Hat was thrifted, love this one
Looks 4&5: Sage Green & Sneaky Polish
This green adidas sweat set is my uniform. I wear it to appointments, coffee runs, flights, and everything in between. I even found a thrifted plaid blazer in the exact same sagey tone for when I need to pretend I’m polished.
My favorite game? Finding more items in this green to keep the look evolving year-round.
✨ Fit details:
– ALL SZN sweats by adidas
– Ozweego sneakers by adidas
– Beanie is, you guessed it, adidas
– Coat by Love, Whit (Whitney Port’s line)
Fashion didn’t fix anything. But it gives me a way to show up for myself—loudly, defiantly, beautifully. And maybe that is enough.
What else have I been up to?
A lot. Honestly, maybe more than I can handle.
I don’t talk much about casting online—partly to protect my peace, and partly because I’m doing less of it these days. Over the past 8 or 9 months (with a big break during treatment), I’ve taken on about one new project a month. I don’t see that rhythm changing anytime soon—not because I love casting any less, but because I love myself a whole lot more.
That said, I currently have three films on the festival circuit, one of which is already Oscar-eligible.
That’s the level I want to stay at. If it’s not award-worthy, I don’t want it.
In a previous life, I was juggling a million projects, and maybe 10-20% of them were artistically fulfilling. Now, thanks to a freelance lifestyle (and some hard-earned boundaries), that percentage is closer to 100%.
My personal relationship with the entertainment industry probably deserves its own essay—but for now, let’s call this a teaser. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.
On the fashion side: I love my job running day-to-day operations for a small, luxury brand. It’s been life-giving—a place where my creativity has space to stretch.
This fall, my boss is rolling out The Ally Pant.
If you had told me a year ago that I’d go through eight weeks of chemo and have a pair of slacks designed and named after me, I honestly don’t know which I would’ve found harder to believe.
Beyond outfits and operations, I’m still hustling antiques—at a local antique mall and on Etsy. The sustainability queen in me does not rest. (Or maybe I just love stuff. And what, exactly, is wrong with that?)
I was quoted in Country Living today. So, make that three things I didn’t have on my bingo card for the last 10 months or so.
How do all of these random things thrown together form a cohesive career? I don’t know how to put it into words yet but they just do.
Thanks for reading! I’m off to enjoy a little Euro summer stint on Saturday and I simply cannot wait.